Saturday, 31 May 2008; 10:57 PM
Instructions:
Remove one question from below, and add in your personal question.Make it a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people.List them out at the end of the post.Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged.Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all :D
1. At what age do wish to get married?
- 21, same as both my sisters
2. Who is more important to you.Friends or boyfriend?
- Neither. I'm the most important to myself.
3. Who is the person you trust the most?
- MYSELF !
4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
- Hmm..
5. If you can have a dream to come true,what would it be?
- It's a secret. If wishes and dreams are made know to the world, they won't come true anymore. HINT: *it's an ex-boyfriend who won't read my blog.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Yes. I've seen it before
7. What is your goal for this year?
- Dammit get above 3.0 GPA which is so impossible.
8. Do you believe in eternity love?
- No cos i've been cheated once and again. Cheat my feelings. (&& This time, it's literally)
9. Have you broken someone heart that she/he tried to commit suicide?
- Yes, I'm sorry booboo.
10. What feeling do you love the most?
- 暧昧期间的感觉
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
- 疼我，关心我，爱我。不准背叛我
12. What feeling do you hate the most?
- Scolded for no apparent logical reason.
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- I prefer not to. Sorry.
14. Do you believe in GOD?
- Yes, but.........
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- Being able to not show that I'm sad when I actually am.
16. Who cares for you the most?
- NOBODY. BOO HOO ='(
17. Describe the person who tagged you in 5 words.
- WOW. I got this quiz from some random blog. I dunno her, but I tink she's quite a pretty girl.
18. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
- Saying "Yes" to quite a few breakups. Shouting at mum. Not studying enough. Not having enough determination to resist temptation from games.
19. If time were to rewind,what would you want it to be?
- Not to start a relationship with Kiddo. When he was emo on the 24Jan2008, LEAVE HIM ALONE AND LET HIM EMO BY HIMSELF instead of FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM.
20. Wad have u learn recently?
- I love BSP CAMP
Tagged:
1. Lu Ke
2. Song Sim
3. Kah Keong
4. Lester Mok
5. Pin Ning
OH NO I DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO GO ROUND!
Thursday, 29 May 2008; 7:34 PM
"For you, it's over.
But for me, it isn't.
I've cried for you, laughed with you, and changed just for you. Now, I'm alone without you. I loved you, after you loved me. You're important to me. Please come back. I miss you a lot. I don't know if I'll ever be okay. You traded everything just for me; I never realised that.
I'm falling apart. Tired and cold, I wish you'd come back. I hate being alone, having nothing to do, cos that's when my thoughts will run wild. Thoughts of you make me smile, but I get disappointed because you'll never be here; I don't like the
Come back to me, please come back. Cos it's not over, and this is just a test. Lets' do this together, instead of individuals. I've tried, facing it alone. And the more I try to do things right, the more I screw them up. I became numb and need tears to taste emotions. I don't wanna live this way - without you. "
Looking at her, I wanted to laugh at her.
I found it stupid. Silly.
But I didn't. I knew she was attached to him.
Then after about three and a half seconds, I realized:
I turned out that I am like her as well.
That's why I didn't laugh at her.
I'm alone.
I walk alone.
I travel alone.
I think alone.
I cry alone.
I smile alone.
I'm just alone. All by myself.
More than once, I wanted to blog just like her.
To say, Baby, it's not yet over yet.
I wanted to tell you, don't leave me.
But I stopped myself.
Though it may be similar, it is still a different scenario.
I know it's impossible between the two of us already.
I look at my phone, I scroll to your name, I typed a message. I didn't send.
All kept in my drafts, and deleted two minutes later.
I keep telling myself, NO, I cant let myself drown deeper into this endless pit.
I told myself, "The love I gave, must all be taken back from him"
Whatever belongs to him, I returned to him.
Yet all I have with him, is still with him.
&& The love I gave, could never be taken back.
因为付出的爱收不会
Today I was at woodlands.
Thank god... How did I even end up there.
I don't want to remember anything.
Alright. Enough of emostuff. Let's talk about happy stuff.
I'm back from camp. Welcome me back! WHEEE!~~~
I love Group 1. WOAHHH!
Guess what?@!!!!
I cannot remember anybody's name. Well, most of them I cannot remember. Sorry guys.
By the way, I finally remember PSP guy's name. He's called LingFeng. OMG. I have SUPER MEMORY power!
I remember this Szeto guy. His name is called Kah Keong.
I remember Weiwei.
I remember my group leader, nicole.
I remember Guang Lin
The rest, oops.
I shall write till here now, for you guys to see. But I'll be back to write more later.
Come back later if you're interested. =D
3.02pm
Yo pplx! I'm back! Whee!
I got this from my BSP group blog. Haha. Yes. We got our blog already.
"
我说华文
也写英文
东西精神
一鸣惊人
虽然只认识短短60小时
但当中的友谊
大家心知肚明
很高兴认识你们
我爱一鸣惊人！
当中的欢笑
当中的眼泪
当中的合作
当中的冲突
不要哭泣
因为，至少，我们已经曾经拥有了。
虽然短占
但至少，彼此的回忆中，都有美好的回忆。
我们这15个人组成的‘一鸣惊人’
就让回忆，停留在27，28，29日的双文化营
让我们记得，彼此最美好，最完美的一面
就把这记忆，藏在心了。
让我们回忆起时，都会微微一笑。"
Guess who I saw at the BSP camp?
LESTER MOK JIA HUI.
F^^K
I was shocked.
I was in group 1, he was in group 3.
So for one of the games, we were playing against each other.
He was his shooter of this team, I was the shooter of mine.
So when he took his shot, his friends went, "ehh Lester... lester... Lester~~!"
I took a look.
OMG HE CHANGED SO MUCH.
FYI: Lester was my ex-tuition classmate. For 3 years.
Disappointed~, myself and others.
(by the way, his shooting sucks.)
Details about camp.
Nothing much actually.
Just that 一鸣惊人 was really addicted to the game of MURDERER.
Everywhere we go, people will see us sitting in a circle, all holding hands and playing the squeeze version of murderer.
Yes.
I meant it.
All of us were ADDICTED, including the guys. Yes, I'm serious.
Muahhaa.
I love yimingjingren~!
8.05pm
Wednesday, 21 May 2008; 6:54 PM
Seriously,
Fancy making me spend $26.70 on a medical checkup just to fill in a dumb form.
Waste my money
Cheat my feeling
Cheat my time.
Alright. I've noticed something.
When I have a new phrase that I use very frequently, I usually learn it from somebody.
But sometime, I jus had the urge to use it so I used it.
Invented by myself.
Two of my new phrases are "Alright." and "Cheat my feeling"
Initially, I thought that "Alright." was by me.But that day I was chatting with my friend when I noticed that he kept using "Alright." I asked him, did I learn my alright from you? He said he guessed I did.
Alright. Fine. I copied him.
Then, I thought that "Cheat my feeling" was by me as well. And then I suddenly remembered that, it wasn't me.
It was him, I noticed.
To think I actually used "Cheat my feeling" so excessively. And I even influenced more people to use it as well. It wasn't me. It was a sudden thing that came to me. And I feel stupid now cos I'm using somebody else's phrase.
I want my own! Grrr. Can somebody think of it for me? Den let me claim that I thought of it myself. LOLOLOL.
For the time being, I shall continue to use "Cheat my feeling" cos I tink it's cool!
Ask my table-mate, and you shall find out how excessively I use "Cheat my feeling"
About my table mate, ........
I sympathasize with you. dot.dot.dot. L.O.L.
Seriously, considering the fact that he is faced with torture twice a week at least for 3 hours in the afternoon, as well as thrice a week for 1 one hour session and 2 45-minute session, he ought to be symathasized with. SIGHHH.
Haiyo. I really take pity on my table mate.
I thought I was bad, but he's worst!
Oh I meant situation, not treatment.
OH YES FRIDAY IS COMING!
PREPARE TISSUE FOR THIS BIG DAY! WHEE!
; 1:09 PM
I feel that there's something wrong with this sentence structure.
Maybe I should get some English remedial lessons with her.
I feel that I did well, somehow.
I came in in the 30th position.
That was among the competitive runners in the B division Girls
Just like what I've promised.
Ain't I a good girl?
Just like what I've promised.
Ain't I a good girl?
I fulfilled promises that I've made before.
I'm feeling super tired now.
Need to see doctor now.
Byebye guys!
SNORE~
&& Dear,
I don't wanna lie anymore.
I still love you.
Even up till now.
And I can't hide in anymore.
It kills me.
Did I mention?
PEGASUS ISN'T THE LAST THIS YEAR!
WE OWNED CENTAUR AND GRYPHON.
Yeah, I'm very very pleased.
I half-expected pegasus to win like, 5th position
INSTEAD, WE GOT 3rd.
Now now, what a surprise?
I'm feeling super tired now.
Need to see doctor now.
Byebye guys!
SNORE~
&& Dear,
I don't wanna lie anymore.
I still love you.
Even up till now.
And I can't hide in anymore.
It kills me.
I can't pretend that I don't like you anymore.
Just like the way you can't pretend that you like me still.
I feel fucktarded.
Did I mention?
PEGASUS ISN'T THE LAST THIS YEAR!
WE OWNED CENTAUR AND GRYPHON.
Yeah, I'm very very pleased.
I half-expected pegasus to win like, 5th position
INSTEAD, WE GOT 3rd.
Now now, what a surprise?
I tried colouring my post, in order to make it more interesting.
Total waste of my time.
But I tink it works.
At least that's what I think.
Tuesday, 20 May 2008; 9:38 PM
对不起。
因为，
付出的关心是收不回的。
抱歉，
又去寻找了。
I had an enjoyable day today.
I noticed that these days I can't spell properly.
I tried writing my diary, and writing my SS correction, and I ended up with a lot of words I cant spell.
Even as I'm typing now, I already spot a mistake in my sentence structure.
Man I suck man.
&& what's best.
My Chinese standard isn't increasing.
Feeling really tired now.
Read bedtime story to my nephew jus now.
He was made to sleep.
Each night, he'll need to make a big fuss and cry and scream before sleeping.
Tonight, I went over and took a look.
I couldn't bear it.
It seems like a battle each night.
A fierce battle fought by the son against the mother to win the mother's favour and get the mother to accompany him to sleep.
A battle never won.
Looking at him scream for mommy.
I couldn't stand it.
I left.
Cos I didn't seem quite long to me when I was feeling like that.
(*It's ironic that this afternoon I jus mentioned that PSLE seems so long ago, and now I'm saying that such a feeling isn't long ago.)
Perhaps, it left a great impact.
对不起，dear.
是我的错
是我过不了自己这关
我的痛，你会了解吗？
因为
付出的关心
是收不回的
Monday, 19 May 2008; 8:30 PM
I switched on msn.
I logged in to blogger.
I wanted to blog.
No I don't have to mood. Sorry.
Friday, 16 May 2008; 6:29 PM
I guess I've imagined it all these while.
Perhaps, I was jus me who's been imaginatating this all the while.
I cant do this again.
I won't wanna induce, and get hurt all over again.
When there's a start, there's gonna be an end.
What there's no start, there isn't a need to put an end to anything.
I can't bring myself to this.
I can't bear to hurt anyone in my relationships, especially myself.
Cos' I know, I can't take the pain anymore.
It's like a dream.
I'm dreaming all over again.
I know I'm jus lying to myself.
I should wake up.
I am not gonna hold on to something which doesn't belong to me,
somebody who doesn't wanna cherish me.
这是我，和我的翔翔deardear
我猜，这只是我的幻想
也许，一直以来，这都只是我自己的一个幻觉
我不能再这样了
我不想从新造成与得到伤害
有始，就会有终
不开始，就不需要结束任何事情
我做不到
我不忍心再次伤害任何人，尤其是自己
因为我知道，我会受不了
这像是一场梦
我又重新再蒙一次了
我知道我这是自欺欺人
应该醒来了吧？
我不会死抓着一样不属于我的东西，
不珍惜我的人
Wednesday, 14 May 2008; 8:05 PM
That's my new motivation.
For the first time, I am going to work hard for myself.
I'll prove to people who do not appreciate me that they've made the worst worst worst decision on Earth.
This time, I'll outperform.
The next time, I'll outdo.
I'll make sure you're gonna lose to me in every aspect.
You're gonna regret it when you've decided to condemn me.
Just now, I changed my personal message to "single and available. Application forms to be my boyfriend available. Requirements: Aged above 18". It was meant to be a joke, and there are real application for the application forms. Haha!
战胜 和 超越
这就是我现在的推动了。
这是第一次，我要为自己努力
我要证明给那些不懂得欣赏我的人，让他们恍然大悟，发现自己做了多么错的决定。
这一次，我一定会战胜
下一次，我就要超越
我会尽全力确保你会在各个方面输给我。
这次你谴责我，我会让你永远的后悔。
刚才，我把MSN的个人讯息改为“我现在处于单身状态。请向我索取申请当我的男朋友的报名表格。要求:18岁以上”本来是在开一个玩笑，结果真的有人向我索取表格。呵呵！
Monday, 12 May 2008; 9:46 PM
那男的也一样，他不会因为你心碎而回头看你一眼。
我死不了
而且我
不会在你的面前
表现出脆弱的一面
今早读了我报，翻开星座的那页，上面写着“双鱼座：最近会有一些事情不想让别人知道，偏偏周围的朋友却一直问起这件事，让你感觉心烦。”
那不是在说我吗？
无论我去到哪里，所有的人都会问我“祥祎leh?怎么没有跟你一起？”
怎么了？看到佩纹，就要看到他吗？
我怎么回答？“不知道他啦．．．可能已经到学校了，可能还在家里睡觉。哪里知道他．．．〃
谢谢大家的关心。
继续问啊．．．！
I still believe in this concept: She is a trouble-maker.
Today she made a lot of trouble for many people.
I'm so dead.
My knee spoiling already.
Today my whole body's joints like going crazy
Right ankle. Right knee. Left knee. Right wrist.
GRRRR. STUPID. SO PAIN.
I'm glad I still can feel the pain
at least I know that I'm still alive
I'm not hurt
I will not allow myself to cry
Sunday, 11 May 2008; 3:33 AM
我有哭了
为什么
先是打篮球
然后，说了那句话。
“你知道吗？暴风雨来临之前，天空中是特别晴朗。我希望我可以替你挡下暴风雨，把晴朗留给你。所以你要一直保持你的微笑，因为那时我的勇气。为了你的微笑，要我做什么都可以。”
纹
别再为他哭了。
别再想他了。
纹
放弃吧
他是不会患上坚持症的。
Saturday, 10 May 2008; 2:01 AM
曾经
有一个知心朋友
到我到海边
当时，
他叫我发泄
今天，终于明白了。真没创意。
在海边的那一天
从知心朋友到男朋友
同一个人
扮演着不同的角色。
如今，
看了这一段
我哭了。
回忆，又回来了。
平静。痛快。
浪漫
他们，都回来了。
我
放不下。
Friday, 9 May 2008; 9:59 PM
都只是一线之差
原以为自己可以放得下
事实摆在眼前
不行
不能忘记你
翔
你好狠
Thursday, 8 May 2008; 3:34 PM
I'm sick.
I was at her blog.
I never knew she had so much trouble till I read her blog
Oh well.
Ankle in pain.
I spilled a whole tub of washing powder on the floor yesterday.
Had a hard time cleaning up.
And the container fell right on my ankle
Fucking pain.
OH anyway, I hate another her.
Well =D
Stupid.
I'm sick.
I couldn't finish my physics paper.
I was turning off during physics paper.
I had this super bad stomachache during physics paper.
I went to toilet and wasted time during exam.
I didn't do revision last night cos I was having fever.
I didn't wake up early enough to do revision cos I was still having fever.
Thank goodness I didn't have fever during the exam.
But still, stupid la.
After exam, I was still feeling fine.
Took bus with Juanjuan and others to BPP.
I felt super sick (vomit kinda sick) during the bus ride.
Went to subway.
Didn't eat.
Cos still felt sick(vomit kind).
I didn't know.
But end up, I was having fever. Again.
My phone's screwed up.
I cant turn it on.
I'm expecting an sms.
Is it here yet?
I'm now at home, sitting in front of the screen, feeling sick enough to sleep again.
I've been sleeping a whole lot these two days.
Well, good thing that my temperature has dropped already.
I'm NOT having fever now.
With a temperature of 37.4
As good as having la.
Oh no.
ALright.
Good night.
I'm gonna give up on revision and go straight to bed.
I have absolutely no chance of focusing on revision now.
I shall sleep =D
Today, I had a dream come true.
I secretly prayed that I'll take the same train as you.
I'll meet you on the train.
Though the second part didn't happen, the first did.
I'm still happy to see you this morning