Wednesday, 30 April 2008; 8:08 PM
何谓‘过分保护’？
温暖
什么是‘在你身边找不到我要得温暖’？
担心
怎么会‘多管闲事去关心？’
哭泣
为什么会用种莫名的感觉，让我想‘哭泣’？
一个人的改变
常常是因为喜欢一个人
我
改变了吗？
因为你
有了更多从来没有的幼稚行为
因为你的幸福
开始学会退让勇气
谢佩纹
你改变好多
原来你喜欢那个人好多好多
原来这就是XXW的世界
应该，和我的
很不一样吧？
原来，看着你
我的世界就是你
不能再这样了
我会垮下...
突然又一股害怕
害怕我会对不起自己
你曾经叫我在这段时期要自己照顾自己
你说：如果我没好好照顾自己，不然你不会原谅我
更不会原谅你自己。
如今，我不行了。
你会挺我吗？
眼睛要盖上了。
手脚一直在斗
你已经很久没有叫我：“纹，睡啦睡啦...”
还想念
你把右肩和右手借给我
在巴士上用你的头，顶着我的头，不让它摇晃
结果自己的脖子都算了。
我都知道。
还想念
牵着你的手
玩你的knuckles
结果被你骂
还想念
把耳朵贴在你胸前
听着你的心跳
似乎跟我的心跳频率一样
想念
你说不想09，05.08 的到来
至今，仍然不了解
为什么？
Tuesday, 29 April 2008; 10:04 PM
Thank you
Fuck off
Come Back
Here are three phrases said to three different groups of people.
First is for those whom I have offended today:
(1)Somebody I slapped today
(2)Somebody I pangseh today
(3)Somebody I pissed off today
(4) Twobody who found my friend and I irritating
Second is for those who tried to care for me:
(1) SOmebody who studied and joke with me till scolded by outsiders at the library.
(2) Threebody who waited for me after school
(3) Somebody who lent me notes for tomorrow's test
Third is for... :
(1) Somebody whom I had to escape from THREE TIMES today because of fear
(2) Backache
(3) Knee pain!!
(4) Stress
(5) That kinda thoughts
(6) What you've done, you know it yourself, I needn't spell it out. If you've done me wrong, here's what i'm saying to you. && you do know I'm talking about you, don't you?
Fourth is for :
(1) Time that I've lost
(2) UguysKNOWwho...
Sunday, 27 April 2008; 11:10 PM
嗨~不能熬夜了。
妈妈投诉说我
“晚上这么迟睡，白天这么难叫”
我回她
“有事读书会读到忘记睡觉的嘛~But也是啦。我累得话怎么叫都叫不醒的。天塌下来我也当被盖”
曾经
有一个人
他是我的天空
一天
从我眼中
他完全消失了
天
塌下来了
但是
这一层被
让我感到窒息
无法正常呼吸
原本那么平凡的举动
居然会变成一个习惯
搭地铁时指定在那里上车厢
麦当劳的雪糕不能一口吃下去，要舔，再慢慢让它融化，十分钟后再吃第二口。
去吃快餐时，只喝雪碧，不喝可乐。
就连写blog， 我都改成你写的风格了。
以前并不抗拒鱼
不知从何开始
也和你一样
发现鱼腥
抗拒它
杜绝
鱼
我的天空有一点灰
因为属于我们俩的天空已经下雨了
下雨了。
来不及了。
爱。漏。油。
; 8:19 AM
怎么，我也会在不自觉地情况下
交出你的名字。
终于明白你坚持的意义
不能住进我的眼睛
也不会留在原地
去拥抱我的背影
你变了
只是我
傻傻的
在原地
不肯走
等
就像是小孩子在做梦是
也会叫妈妈。
背影 - 林宥嘉
作曲：关大洲 作词：蓝小邪
三公分阳光 三公分空气
堵在眼前 像一面玻璃
挡住了妳表情 剩下只有脚印
一直向前走 走不完距离
一直向后 退不出回忆
很高兴有心事 帮我困住自己
妳头发上淡淡青草香气
变成了风才能和我相遇
妳的目光 蒸发成云
再下成雨我才能够靠近
感谢我不可以 住进妳的眼睛
所以才能 拥抱妳的背影
有再多的遗憾 用来牢牢记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以 拥抱妳的背影
所以才能 变成妳的背影
躲在安静角落 不用妳回头看
不用珍惜
我怀里所有温暖的空气
变成风也不敢和妳相遇
我的心事 蒸发成云
再下成雨却舍不得淋湿妳
感谢我不可以 住进妳的眼睛
所以才能 拥抱妳的背影
有再多的遗憾 用来牢牢记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以 拥抱妳的背影
所以才能 变成妳的背影
躲在安静角落 不用妳回头看
不用珍惜
感谢我不可以 拥抱妳的背影
所以才能 变成妳的背影
躲在安静角落 如果妳回头看
不用在意
Tuesday, 22 April 2008; 9:17 PM
总是在没得到前
才会拼命去抢
人
总是在刚刚得到时
爱不释手
人
总是在得到一段时间后
渐渐忘了它的存在
人
总是在快要失去前
才懂得去挽回
人
总是在失去后
才懂得后悔
这
就是
人与人
感情循环
你自己也很清楚
你的循环是怎么开始的。
值钱的循环，怎么结束的。
珍惜眼前人
不然，她就会走了。
对了。
今天，很奇怪。
我正在回忆
你到底是在那一天
提出说要发奋读书的。
2008年4月7日
考完试会是
2008年5月9日
如果缩短2008年4月7日， 就会是748 （070408, cancel all the zero）
如果缩短2008年5月9日， 就会是958 （090508, cancel all the zero）
748 = 去死吧
958 = 救我吧
哈哈哈哈。
alright. I'm lame.
; 8:39 PM
I was late for school.
Serves myself right.
Procrastinate so much.
Work so little.
Sleep so late.
Late? Too bad.
Well, today I had company to be late with me.
Being Timmy, ChuYe and another gal.
I tried hard not to fall asleep in class today.
I succeeded.
Today when I left school.
I saw Micole.
Then, after CCA ended, I saw SeowRong and JiaLi
I'm seriously sleepy.
I shall quit procrastinating.
I shall quit studying tonight.
SNORES!
Do not distub.
Do not call me.
Monday, 21 April 2008; 9:43 PM
Topic would be : Inertia.
I was jus kidding. I'm not gonna do Physics revision.
At least not now.
But indeed, my topic is inertia.
FOr your information:
Interia, according to Wikipedia, is the resistance an object has to a change in its state of motion.
I have a large inertia now.
Fucking procrastinating now.
I must turn off my wireless lan and start on my studying.
Oh well.
Today was cool.
Surprise, I didn't fall asleep during physics less.
Anyway, as I've mentioned, I have a large inertia now.
THe object is my brain.
It it currently at rest.
I'm feeling the resistence to change its state of motion and start moving it.
My entire body is experiencing a large inertia now.
I'm surprised that the voice in my head tell me what to type on is still moving.
And of course, not to metnion the ten little fingers making this consistent tak-tak-tak sound on this wonderful 26 letters.
Ten of you rock.
According to Newton's first law, unless an external force acts on a object, it remains at its state of motion.
I need to apply force.
TO apply force, I need energy.
Which I'm really lacking now.
I have to walk on, even though I may seem to be alone.
I know that deep inside of my heart, there seems to be a hole. SOmething from inside my heart is missing, causing a lot of pain and emptiness.Come back one day. Won't you?
Come back baby please cos we belong together.
18.
BY THE WAY~
I took time off to search for the phrase which I mentioned LONG LONG AGO, and which caused me to get into fucking trouble with my farmcher.
The phrase is "When I'm happy, I'm a very cute girl. But when I'm emo, I'm cute with the e"
LIke What the FUCK?
Totally wasted my time.
I have TOTALLY no idea why I wasted time on her searching for that stupid phrase.
Guess what?
I couldn't find it.
OH yeah, I'm interested to find out which motherfucker quoted stuff from my blog to my farmcher.
Well, asshole.
I'm sorry for the vulgarities.
I'm cant stand my farmcher.
ANyway, if you don't understand any part of this post, please ask me if you do see me.
I would like to advertise the concept of farmcher to all who're willing to hear.
And also, I would like to bring SHAME to my farmcher.
Who ask her.
narbuay.
Sunday, 20 April 2008; 7:52 PM
; 1:27 AM
I'm currently at my cousin's house.
Partying all night. Supposedly.
They're bloody-ily asleep.
Leaving me. ALone.
Cousin's has a friend.
WHo has a boyfriend.
TOday I saw them cuddling on the bed.
It's supposed a sleepover.
I saw them.
It was an eyesore.
Maybe it's becuase I've been through this before.
ALl the cuddling and etc.
I'm watching dou niu now.
A quote from zicong.
"当我很喜欢很喜欢一个女人的时候， 不管发生任何危险， 我都会站在她前面替她党。 不管多难实现的愿望，我都会当她的阿拉丁神灯替她实现。只要看她笑我就会开心，看她哭我就会难过。 如果她受伤， 我会气我自己没有把她保护好。 当她不在握身边的时候， 我会担心她现在是不是安全。 当我失去她的时候， 我一定会很难过， 很无助。 希望我能永远保护她， 照顾她， 直到她发现我一直守在她身边。"
Why did I have this impression that I've seen this before?
I've hear this personally before.
It's painful.
It's sweet.
I need to focus.
But I'm losing control.
I miss you.Kiddo.
I don't regret this.
Even if I'm gonna lose you tomorrow.
Because I'm not afraid of loving the wrong.
I'm jus afriad of never loved before.
Memories.
While I may claim that I 'should forget it', I still hold onto them.
i don't wanna forget you.
Stupid. Exams.
FUCK them.
Teachers are the root of all troubles.
Friday, 18 April 2008; 10:40 PM
Waiting is painful
Wait is something which is obvious waste of time, yet so many people are doing it.
Wait
oh yeah?
I've been saying "I'll be waiting for you right here. Until you arrive"
I've been making myself believe that chances make things happen.
i've been hiding myself in the
I feel stupid.
I feel cheated.
I feel LOSER.
What a loser.
Alright, to hell I shall go to.
I'm gonna sleep. And wake up to chiong my tuition's assignment.
FUCK.
Especially 林耘, who totally pissed me off today.
She's been a total B**** today.
She obviously has got nothing better to do but to chat with my mother every now and then.
That's bullshit.
ANd Fuck it.
So what if I get into trouble because of this bloody post.
Who started it first?
哎，英文真难学！
佩文，我读不懂啦！
翻译成华文给我。
; 10:25 PM
自以为是
不顾及别人的感受
不听从别人的劝告
一意孤行
老师又怎样？
不见得你对了。
今天，还好我已经打电话给她了
不然，这个post会骂得更凶。
表面上是班委会的meeting
实际上是gossip session
太过分了。
我不会忍她！
NABEI!
Tuesday, 15 April 2008; 7:44 PM
Kinda pissed off. My blog cant display Chinese characters some times.
ZZZ.
Henceforth, I have decided not to blog in Chinese.
YAYS! oh no.
I'm seriously lacking sleep.
I'm seeing doubles these days.
and DAMNed that fucking knee of mine.
Driving me crazy these days.
I'm sad. =(
and the reason is not only because of this.
Alright. I shall go sleep.
Tonight, I've got lots to do. Well, I shall start off by sleeping till 12midnight, then start on studying.
I know. This is fucking unhealthy.
Who cares. Dammit i've got LOADS of incomplete homework.
And a piece of assignment due last term...
Okay. Sleeping time <3 u guys.
14 days till exams.
Saturday, 12 April 2008; 9:59 PM
I really hate weekends.
They give me so much of expectations, yet make me lose them after hours and hours of waiting.
Today, i waited for 9 hours.
I hate this.
I hate time.
Anyway, I changed my blogskin.
Mostly, the font.
Reason being: the English fonts somehow mimic Kiddo's handwriting.
Kiddo, doesn't it?
Anyway, dear readers of my blog.
Please tag. I'm bored stiff.
I cant just wait and let time pass.
Talk to me if you can.
Alright. I intentionally chose this font because it's really difficult to read the words.
If you dun understand what i'm saying, I shall give you two words only : TOO BAD.
Just wait till I blog in Chinese,
CHinese gives me big and ugly fonts.
Can't tink of a way to get my nicer chinese fonts.
ANything.
Currently crazy over this taiwan drama series 斗牛.要不要
Today, I chiong finish 3 episodes.
Am I pro or what?
I seriously wasted a lot of time bufferring.
Yeah, all right.
I shall not waste time any further.
My mum's been nagging at me about exams.
She's been looking at my room
There's a countdown until exams.
Which is only left with 18days for me.
I promised my mum that I will not waste time. Anymore.
It's not that I don't miss you anymore.
It's that I realise it's impractical to miss you furthermore.
I will try not to waste time.
I will spend less pages of my diary writing about you.
Waste my money~
Time is money
Pages is money
Electricity is money
SMS is money.
Sleeping more is also money. waste more electricity.
I need you. Kiddo.
Well, 18days left till exams is actually a good sign.
Meaning to say, there's only 26days left till exams are over.
26days.
Remeber that day.
It's THE day.
I'll try my best to work hard.
I'll try my best not to get distracted.
I find myself being by the phone.
Because your voice make it easier for me to carry on.
Each time a message comes in, I feel a whole lot of excitement.
I can't wait to see that envelop image.
Yet each time,
I don't see that familiar name.
灰公子
I'll wait.
Till you arrive.
; 9:54 AM
I shall not waste it on being emo.
I shall just dedicate half of it being emo.
Since it's a Saturday, I have all the reasons in the world to be sad. and emo.
I've quoted these from a friend's blog.
" The way you get my attention just by saying a Hello. The connection we had that I just, couldn't let go. I'm missing them all, wondering when you'll come back and when I'll ever see you again. Time is passing too slowly, and
We have had our ups and downs. But we've always worked out. I'm glad we've gone so far now. Still, I'm lying on my bed, wishing you were here, because nothing seems right without you here. "
How would I stop having memories with me?
How would I stop being emo?
How would I stop thinking of you?
How would I "go to someplace that doesn't belong to you"/
I'm currently stuck at home. Feeling so lost in my thoughts.
I may have told myself not to cry.
Time is painful.
It does create a lot of memories.
What is most painful isn't the sad memories we have had.
It isn't when you've said to hurt me.
The most painful is the sweetest moments we shared.
The way you said, " Wen, Really love you"
That's what the most painful.
That's when my tears start to flow. DoWN.
I dun feel like leaving the house.
Because when I leave the house, I have to face the world.
Yet I want to revist where it belonged to 'us'
What about us?
'us' is a word lost in memories.
It used to be a 'we' conversation.
Now, it's a 'you' or 'i' conversation.
I hate this.
I want you back.
Right here.
On this sofa.
Beside me.
I need you now.
Monday, 7 April 2008; 10:25 PM
最近读了小孩子的日记。
印象最深刻的是这一句。
好想，明天就去stalk他。
好想，明天不去学校。
我累了。
但不敢睡觉。
睡觉。
好可怕！
我不敢睡觉。
他说我约束他。
他没说，但根本就是指桑骂槐。
现在的这个post是第332个post.
第333个，会是快乐的，还是伤心的？
我会成过去的。
在没有你的天空
自由的走。
我
好
想
翔
翔
！
够了！
不要闹了！
等待！
艰难辛苦！
Boyfriend~?
(没回复）
我等。
直到你来。
Sunday, 6 April 2008; 10:50 PM
现在的我
根本不适合听音乐
听emo的歌，只会让自己更加emo
听浪漫的歌，只会回忆起甜蜜的过往。
但又不能不听
不听的话
一间房子
一个人
烦人的回忆就会回来。
剩下仅仅23天了。
不，还是24，但快23了。
不会吧...在这个时候...
‘哥哥’说给他一些时间
好吧！暂时听他的。
毕竟，他仍让比我‘老’
其实，我早该料到这结果。
今天，翔问我:如果有一天，我没办法照顾你，你怎么办？
我....不知道。
我....宁可没听到。
但逃避始终没有解决问题。
翔始终替我做了一个决定。
一个我无权反对的决定。
无奈，我答应了。
那又怎样？
答不答应，
始终
还是这样。
请身边的人不要慰问我。
我是...绝对...不会...
难过。
就像翔曾经说过
“老天都替我哭完了，所以我也不会哭”
今天，我终于找到了他的名字。
放在我的msn nickname.
感觉，昊七秒。
在失去某些事后，又找到一只想找的东西。
ironic.
how do i live with you
i wan to know
how do i breathe with you
you were my god
how do i ever ever survive
how do i how do i how do i
live
纹纹：好吧！你了不起。你走吧！
（翔翔act emo,走了）
（十三拍半后）
纹纹：oh shit! my heart!
翔翔：现在才发现！看你还敢不敢赶我走。
（纹纹act emo,走了）
（十七拍后）
翔翔：纹，不要走...
美丽的幻觉。
对了，听说“陈诗诗姐姐”有在读我的blog.
不是啦，blog里的男生不是他。
这么爱泡妞！怎么可能跟我有关系呢？
爱泡妞的那个，跟我只是普通朋友。
虽然同样是xiang
但字不同。
“陈诗诗姐姐”，不要猜了。
死了！老妈！
救命！
; 10:29 AM
Why is it that I'm feeling like that?
Who caused me you feel like that?
Alright. Enough of nonsense.
I'll never bother to remember someone who treats me like shit.
Forget it.
一个人的良心
被丢进大海
被鲨鱼吃掉了
还找得回来吗？
怎样对我、怎样伤害我。
摸摸你的良心
那个被鲨鱼吃掉的良心
大概，你是找不回来了。
Alright. Alright.
enough of the emo stuff.
Come on.
I'm gonna use a vulgarity
which I cant use on Meng's blog.
Lols.
FUCK IT.
No!
No more nonsense.
Because the promises you made,
you never kept them
Fucking stressed these days.
My mum's nagging at me already.
She's reminding me that my exams are coming in 24days.
And fuck it
it's true.
Study. Study. Study
WHY?????
I'm definately gonna screw my exams this time.
GPA? 1.3? oh yeah....
CRAP
FUCK BICULTURE.
Yeah I'm serious.
havetissuddenimpulsetodosthbad.sthreallybad.enoughofnonsense.
&&ihatebiculture
Saturday, 5 April 2008; 8:56 PM
I made a new called again, I pressed the correct number
&& instead, I ended up calling up the police.
I wasn’t quite sure if my friend was playing a prank on me, so I decided to play along with him.
It ended up I DID call the police because of the double nine in the first call and the third nine in the second call. HA!
How embarrassing. The police made a note on my house phone number and considered this as a ‘nuisance’ call.
Alright, maybe I should have thought that my friend wouldn’t be lame enough to do such a thing.
Alright, enough of embarrassing stuff.
Maybe Marcus would be laughing behind his back because I posted such a post on my blog, when it was him who played the prank on me.
Yeah. This IS funny yeah =D
Now, I did eventually contact Marcus and told him to call me on my handphone. Apparently, he’s having dinner and doesn’t quite have time to entertain me.
Alright, Marcus, I admit it. I’m freaked out. Don’t play such jokes. LOL.
Now I don’t have the guts to call Marcus’s handphone number anymore.
Reasons why I believed in his ‘prank’ (or maybe it WAS real)
1. he sounded serious
2. he knew what he was doing.
3. the person on the phone sounded non-chinese.
4. I was given a severe warning, which totally freaked me out.
I didn’t know I was such a chicken. =D
Thursday, 3 April 2008; 7:22 PM
Peiwoon's blogging.
Oh no!
She's gonna complain again.
Today, i experienced the SLACKEST day in my entire RV life up till now.
Yes, I did mention SLACK
First, was CID.
Official teacher didn't come.
Relief teacher came in and stood in for 100minutes.
Meaning to say, 1h40minutes of free period in CID lesson.
Then, it was another 100mintues of free period, with 1 hour of C Lit and 40mintues of break.
Then, Physics, Mrs Lee didn't come for lesson. There was some confusion here and there. We didn't have physics lessons, but had to complete a practical which we have done but not filled in the answers. Lesson was only around 30mintues because a lot of time is wasted.
Finally, we had chemistry for 30mintues.
Then we left for lunch.
Then a learning journey.
It was bullshit.
Complete waste of time.
I slacked my whole day away with literally 100(CID) + 100(CLIT & BREAK) + 30(PHYSICS) = 230mintues of slack = Almost 4 hours of time wasted.
Which means to say, I only studies for 40mintues of GEOG and 30mintues of Chemistry and 30mintues of PHYSICS
Has YOUR rv life been slacker than mine today?
But bullshit it.
Learning Journey caused me to get caught in the bloody rain.
Darn cold.
nevermind =D
Forget it.
Byebye!